I am in the minority when I say that 2016 did not suck. I had a baby and for me that was the toughest challenge and biggest achievement of my life. Pregnancy and a THB (Take Home Baby) did not come easy to me. Do you know how shitty it is to be the brown woman who can’t get pregnant?
It was a hard won victory after four years battling infertility.
You know what years sucked the big one for me?
2012 when I had a miscarriage in June and my sister gave birth to her daughter in August, a friend gave birth to her son in October, two friends gave birth to their daughters in November and I was left with an empty womb waiting for my rainbow baby (a baby born after miscarriage).
2013 when my mother died.
2014 when after three rounds of IVF all I got was a twenty pound weight gain, a bank account that was quickly dwindling and an empty womb.
2015 when my dearest friend died battling a rare form of cancer and I had miscarriage number two.
Those four years were horrible for me but even they had something good come out of them.
2012 my sister Ona gave birth to my niece Onabella.
2013 Matt and I bought a house.
2014 I dedicated myself to writing. Took classes at Writing Workshops Los Angles where I got to workshop with amazing teachers and great writers. I attended the VONA where I workshopped my work with a beautiful community of POC.
2015 I got pregnant in September with my miracle baby girl, I got orchestra seats for Hamilton in NYC, I finished the first draft of my memoir, I went on vacation to the Mexican Riviera with my girlfriends. My sister Ona gave birth to Ayden and my sister in law gave birth to Ariana.
I don’t want to subscribe to the narrative of “2016 Sucked”. I am focusing on the positive while I figure out how to cope and what to do with the misogyny and racism that came during and after the election.
My blessings are many; My family and I are healthy, I have a big extended family and fantastic friends, I own a house, my husband and I are gainfully employed, my daughter is at a daycare where she is thriving and loves her teachers, my life is pretty great. This is what I’m going to focus on and what I give thanks to 2016 for.
I know there’s a lot of suffering in the world, and a lot more to come as this presidency unfolds. All I can do right now is donate whatever I can to charities that help children, feed the hungry and promote literacy. I also want to be a better woman to other women. I want to be a better feminist. I will continue to be happy when my sisters achieve, to cheer them on when they are successful, to encourage them when it is needed, and to be generous to the young women who are coming up.
This is the best I can do to honor 2016 and welcome 2017 with an attitude of gratitude.
2017 may you bring us health, prosperity, peace, wisdom, tenacity and resilience.